This blog hasn’t been updated in a long time. That’s OK, I suppose, since no one actually reads it. And why would they? There’s barely any content.
Last year was extremely difficult. It hasn’t really stopped being difficult. After Shannon died in March, I found myself very alone with the entire thing, my feelings about it all and the incredible sadness that I felt. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.
Then in June, my father died. It was very unexpected. Whether it makes a difference or not, I don’t know, but I do know that I was thrown so far off balance I doubt I will ever find proper footing again. And again, I found myself very alone. More alone I suppose because this was so utterly devastating to my world. I don’t think I’m ready yet to talk about it.
And then in November my aunt died. Again it was so very unexpected. The bottom had ripped out of my world in June and now someone was prying my fingers from the edges where I was desperately trying to hold on. And yet again, I was alone. And I am not ready to really talk about that either.
There is so much anger and pain and I suppose I am simply trying to sort through it and find new footing, different footing. Mostly I hold onto the words and the anchor that my friend Liz provided and I am grateful for her friendship beyond belief. I wish that we lived closer.