The bell that’s rung.

I remember when I first heart all about Cannibal Holocaust, all the controversy and the fact that it was banned, only pushed me to want to watch it. And boy did I get more than I bargained for. A week of absolute horror as one scene from the movie continuously assaulted my mind when I least expected it. I didn’t regret watching it but I knew I’d never sit through it again.

When I heard about Human Centipede and how utterly disturbing it was supposed to be I hesitated. Remember Cannibal Holocaust, I thought to myself. I don’t want to experience that again. Of course curiosity, as it always does, won over and I watched what has got to be one of the stupidest movies ever made. It didn’t disturb me, it merely annoyed me for trying so hard to be disturbing. It was also supremely boring.

So it figures, I thought. That sort of thing generally doesn’t happen. I am, after all, unshockable. Is that really a word? I don’t think so but it doesn’t matter. So it naturally stands to reason that when it comes to literature I tend to seek out the dark side of human nature. I wonder what it says about me and I blame those VC Andrews books I read when I was 11.

It was inevitable, I suppose, that I would find myself reading this particular manga – I actually didn’t realize it included content that I avoid until I started and then I pressed on anyway though I’m not sure why. Even as I started to feel a sort of sick feeling somewhere deep down I continued to read. After awhile I wasn’t sure if anything other than the pure horror I was feeling was pushing me forward. By the time I finished the manga I was reading this afternoon, I was sobbing. I was thinking about Cannibal Holocaust and how sometimes it’s better to leave well enough alone. It wasn’t the subject matter in and of itself but rather that psychological aspect that I always look for that did me in this time. I can’t stop thinking about it. I sort of regret reading it right now though I know as some time passes, my stomach settles and I’m able to fully process what I read I will probably change my mind and stop regretting it.

Curiosity might not have killed the cat but it certainly did some damage to its psyche. That cat’s a bit of a masochist.

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