I always have design envy when I start browsing the web and see great looking websites. Of course there are many not so great sites out there too but so many of the sewers out there have these really nice sites. I’ve yet to find a Word Press template that I really really like.
Additionally, I’ve been trying to re-conceptualize my sewing site, Polite Façade. I am planning to hire someone to design a logo for me. It won’t be until September, probably, because I’m traveling for the next two weeks. I’ve gone back and forth and around in circles with different concepts and finally came to the realization that in order to be truly satisfied, I’m going to have to hire someone and get it done right. Unfortunately, I don’t know that I’ll ever move beyond sewing as a pass-time so shelling out the well-deserved money to a designer is not really something I have a budget for. I wish that I did. I believe very strongly in supporting independent designers and I believe in paying for quality. I just wish I had more money!
My web design skills are fairly minimal and I can’t seem to settle on something for Polite Façade. I don’t know what I should put up on there either. Initially, I tried to keep a blog there that was just devoted to sewing and then leave this blog as a more personal one. I realized that just left me with two blogs that were almost never updated. The best thing to do is to simply blog here and if I want to talk about sewing, then talk about sewing I shall!
So what to do with my site? If I were ready to launch a store, I’d know what direction to go in but at least until the sewing room moves from dream to reality, that just isn’t going to be the case.
I feel myself trying to cling to summer as it slips away. I don’t want it to end. I don’t want the fall to get here. I don’t want cold weather. I also want to be able to stay home and sew. But… I’m a single woman. I need to make ends meet and that means moving forward despite the fact that I’m digging my heels in. I guess I’m not alone in not knowing what I want to be when I grow up even though, at this point even I will admit, I’m grown up. Sometimes it feels like I’m alone. When you have so many friends who are married and who have chosen careers and are following that path, it’s hard to justify wanting so much to be Peter Pan.
The reality is, I like staying home. I am fortunate in that I have been able to go through school, earning 2 university degrees and working on a third. I am fortunate that I have been able to avoid settling for less though I’d love to settle sometimes. I know what I want, a job I can do from home. My own hours, for the sake of my health and my sanity. The freedom to be mobile. The freedom to devote time to creating. I envy those that are able to do it. I also envy those that are content to go to an office or building every day, wear uniforms or suits and do so with no regret. That isn’t me. I wanted it to be me, very badly. I know, now, that it won’t ever be. Armed with that knowledge, I am lost and grasping in vain to the last strings of summer and this freedom.
